_x gone and lost x_

it's been so long.

2006-09-26T20:36:00.000+08:00

i haven't been blogging here for like dunno how long.
i said i won't be blogging here anymore.
but i suddenly feel like it.
so i shall blog here as and when i like.
once a year or what.
i guess by now.
nobody is reading my blog anymore.
i like it this way.

i am not please with what happened today.
there's this fucker.
it disgust me to admit this.
but he's my ex.
he has been dating a friend of mine.
he lied to her about so many things.
and as a friend i don't wish to see her being cheated.
she knows that he's cheating on her and all.
so she gave him chances.
chanceSSSSSSSSSSSS to admit the truth.
but he still deny.
and the worst thing is.
he asked a girl who is in love with him to lie to my friend saying that my ex didnt lie.
what the hell.
they know for sure that who;s the one lying.
and they made me the bad guy.
what the fuck is this?
saying i edit the messenger chatlog.
APPLE LAPTOP CAN'T EDIT ONE LA FAGGOTS.
all liars. dahs.

i'm not going to blog publicly anymore

2006-03-03T02:13:00.000+08:00

human beings are ugly creatures. they befriend you for reason. not because you are kind or what. just that they need people to accompany them. cos it's hard to have fun alone. they could be nice to you and then talk bad about you behind your back. they appear to be a friend of yours but deep inside they hated you. they hate people cos they only remember other's bad points but not their good. they can never recall how good people treat them but to have them hating the people in return. ya. everyone have flaws. but they have their good points too. unless that person really have nothing good as far as you can see. but someone who is nice but with flaws must be damned mehs? every fucking human beings aka ugly beings have flaws hors. i hated people too. but come to think of it. they have something in them worthed being appreciated. but why the fuck must you only remember the bad things the person have done? everyone has reasons for the bad things they have done regardless the reason is for themselves or for others. example a robber la. he or she dun have jobs but needed money ma. so they chose to rob people nors. it's still a reason too. ya. it's wrong. but come to think of it. if you were in their shoes. you might also choose to be leading that kind of life too. think how many people dun have jobs in this world. if they managed to find a job. will they rob? FUCKING NO. they wouldn;t want to sleep unpeacefully every night. afraid that the cops might come at anytime to nab them. everyone needs to live what. you can't possibly ask them to die right? aiyah. my point is. everyone have a side of them that is to be appreciated. it's sad to see that everyone only remember other's bad points. when you were asked why you like your that particular friend. the answer will mostly be cos that person treats you well. and when that person have done something that upsets you. you started to dislike that person. if it's this case. you are not befriending that person for who he or she is. they have reasons in doing that. just cos of something bad you've done. you are being disliked by people. you like that mehs? when in school. you play truant or what. teachers still gives you a chance. you wrote wrong word. you will be asked to do correction. but in dealing with people. is it really so hard to give another chance? me too have done some things in the past. i have my reasons. so now. i'm afraid of making friends and also keep in touch with the people around me. cos i know. not everyone are able to accept me and my past deeds. i believe there are alot of people that are facing the same thing. you might be one of the damned people list of your friends and you might know it too. people walk around wearing a fucking mask that appear to be nice to cover up their ugly faces. i dun fucking believe there is someone in this world have something ugly in them. i also dun believe monks and nuns dun have. you have it or not. you knows it best.

anyway. this will be my last entry for this blog. i will not write public blog anymore. cos i find myself having difficulties in writing everything here with people reading. i wouldn't want to read back and find my blog entries with bit and pieces of things missing and contain lies. i want to be honest to myself and see how ugly i can be as a person. i thank you people for reading my blog regardless as a concern for me or just want to see bitch i can be and then go around gossiping. it doesn't matter. you read my blog still. so i'm thankful. thank you.

YAY!

2006-02-21T20:26:00.000+08:00

From: 79801

Congrats! You've been shortlisted for the interview for your JPSAE or DAE application for NP courses. Pls call 63192838 for details by 23 Feb.

I'M SHORTLISTED! YAY! XD so i jus need to call and ask for details and then prepare a portfolio for the interview and DONE. wait. i'm going overseas this thursday. and i dun have much things to include in the portfolio. i will stutter when i'm nervous. and i don't even know what course i was selected for. fuck. there goes the interview. dang.

2006-02-20T19:05:00.000+08:00

valentine's day.

2006-02-15T00:33:00.000+08:00

i didn't have the time to blog after the day the results had been released. I PASSED! YAY! I REALLY DID! i got 3 distinctions! i was freaking shock nors. didnt expect i will get distinctions. hohohoh. i got an A2 for chinese. an A1 for combined science and an A2 for ENGLISH! WEE! i didnt dare believe nors. i tot i took the wrong slip ah. i was checking the name again and again. all mdm prema's fault. she la. always gimme fail de lehs. if not jiu border line. cause me to think that my english gone case liao. so that day i went to approach her. she was talking to two other schoolmates of mine when she spotted me waiting for her. she screamed my name my name suddenly scaring the hell out of me. she open her arms wide to me and jumped like a kid. hahahaha. den she hugged me. she was so damn happy as she know that i got an A2. she said that when she saw my name, she thought to herself : aiyah. this yeelee ah. if she can get a B3 i very happy already. but when she saw my grades, she was shocked den she keep yay. hahahaha. despite the fact that she 'keep bluff me about my grades' (hahaha) i still adore her. she promised me a gift and will give me when i return to school the next time. YAY! victor yuen too owed me white chocos! teehee. i'm happy with my english science chinese and emaths. but my Amaths and combined humanities still sucks. eeek!

I went to stay overnight at other's place and the next day i went to genting and came back only on monday. so i nv blog. valentine's day just passed. i spent it with jian. hahahaha. before meeting him i met someone else as well, but only for one and a half hour. jian and i wanted to have our dinner at plaza's swensen. but there's too many pple. so we went to westmall as i want to help my mum pay her phone bills. the swensen here also full nors. all the restaurants there were full. so we have to walk two rounds in the kopitiam just to get a place and sit. i almost died of hunger. and after that. we went to watch marrying the mafia. i laughed like hell. it's very very nice show. it's farnie la. but i cried at 2 or 3 scenes. so damn touching nors. IT'S A MUST WATCH! i ps wesley. hahahaha. he was asking me to date him on monday and asked me to contact him. but i didn't. hahahaha. forgot wat. den he ownself lazy to contact pple also.soi went out with jian. totally forgot about him. haa. i enjoyed my valentine's day. a big THANK YOU to Jian. i can never find another buddy like you again. (:

kbox day.

2006-02-07T21:33:00.000+08:00

today i went to the kbox with angela, simin,cheyenne,perjun, and chinyang. hahahaha. it's fun. they all sing damn nice and chinyang received the most applause for singing the ling. hahahahaha. and cheyenne was so obsessed with his voice that she started record all of it. hahahha. anyway. i'm posting 3 photos again. for angela. hahahahhaha.

this is angela and me again. i'm singing at that time nors! haa.

i know i look like shyt here. i looked stoned. but let's take a look at the next pic.

it's your turn man angela. hahahaha! XD

happy day.

2006-02-06T23:31:00.000+08:00

friday is coming. i'm scared! ): hais. tsk tsk. see la. no study hard la. hais. when i thought of it ah. my heart jumped like mad. i dunno wye. i know that i gave up already. but it still makes my heart jump whenever this thing came to my mind. dunno ehs. hmms.

yesterday when to simin's house. before that was angela's. we met up at her house then went to simin's. i lost 20 plus while gambling there lehs. and the big winner was ong lai. hewon a freaking 71 dollars lehs. sobs. ))): after that we went home. it was raining and i was walking to my block with my head down. at that time. i kept asking myself what happen? wye did i lose so much? i thought i always win? i still cannot accept the fact that i'm so bad luck that day. ong lai la! wher red undies! win all my money! humphs! next time i'm gonna wear all red. den put dark red lips stick. dark red de make up la. hahahahhahaha. den i can win all their moneys. wahahahhaha. but i wont do it. cos i reprimanded ong lai. i say him very thick skin. cos win all his FRIENDS money. hahahhaaha. but i was kidding only la! anyway. back to me walking. i reached my block. and guess what? i saw one poor little 50 dollar note lying there. it's drenched and covered with bits of dirts. being the kind person i am. i took it back since nobody is around. i cleaned it and i pasted it on my wall. hahahaha. so liddat means i earn lehs! hahahaha. so i'm lucky afterall. lalalala~ +happy+ haa. anyway. here's some photos i took with them. and angela, i posted all our damn faces. hahahhaha. (((((((((((((((((((((((((x

This is me and angela at her house.

I caught a pig at angela's house!

Me and angela again!(:

Caught in the act.

Getting zi lian. hahahahaha!

(:

Cheyenne. Me. Angela.(:

Kee Han and me.(:

I'm just trying to stand next to her.

Wa lan! Lunyi! Look here la!

You didn't see anything - says Alvin.

Me and Papa. He's trying to make me look taller. hahahaha.XD

PIGS! My god. look at my eyes. i think i have to sleep more. MORE! XD

Me and Cheyenne. EHS! My eyes majiam Yisheng's. One big one small. Tsk tsk.

It's us again!(((((((:

SWEET?

SURE?

You're WRONG!

Grr~

Bleahs and a BOO~!

hahahahaha.

toopid mouths. hahahaha.

ANGELA! WYE ONLY ME UGLY IN HERE?! UNFAIR! ))))):

XD

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! her turn to be ugly. hahahaha. XD

BANG!

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((:

wye the shock? you also got do nors just now.

Cant you just be a little more appreciative?

Eeek!

It's mine!

I eating that choco la.

(:

Two twists for yeah yeah cos NO MORE UGLY PICS! angela, feel relieved?

still as SWEET as EVER! XD

that's all!

最可悲的分手

2006-01-31T22:12:00.000+08:00

哪一种分手最惨？

两个相爱的人，无奈要分手，那是最惨的吧。

明明都很爱对方，但是，环境不容许大家再继续下去，唯有悲痛地分手。这种分手，根本没可能一次就成功。一次又一次，说好了不要再见，说好了[我是为了你好]，说好了[我会永远怀念你]，也明明说好了[我们不要再心软]。然而，每一次，我们都破坏自己的誓言，又在纠缠在一起。

见面的时候，大家哭得死去活来。然后，其中一人冷静地说：[我们试试看能不能没有对方吧。] 另一个人只好答应。然后，他不找她，她也不找他。可是，他只要闭上眼睛就会想起她。而她，也失去了生活动力。

然而，总是有一天要分开的。

[爱情没有灰姑娘的传说，但能期待王子拿着玻璃鞋的到来。人无法决定谁会为谁动心，但至少可以决定放不放弃。爱情的世界若没有了你，也就没有你我的际遇。]

new update.

2006-01-20T23:25:00.000+08:00

i was working the day before yesterday. i and my sis were working on something and we had to go down to jurong point to buy some materials. we went there at 11. we spent quite sometime buying the stuffs. after that i asked her if she knows how to play the arcade a not. den she ask i wan to go izzit. we were asking each other while heading towards the arcade. since we were there. we went in and play there. hahahahaha. run away from the office to play in the arcade. haa. we played the 3 big buttons one. den daytona. mahjong. den we spent the rest of the credits throwing basketballs. hahaha. so fun nors. she's not going to office tml and i have to do those boring stuffs myself again. sians. if not i can push all my jobs to her. hahahahahahhaha. XD

lately me, fat bird and rong are feeling very down. sians. we 3 happy jiu happy together. sad jiu sad together. hahahahaha. at least i dun have to be the onli sad one. HAHAHAHAHAHA. i'm mean. Eeek! XD hope everything will be okay soon so that we can go crazy together again! WEE~! tml i'm gonna meet up with my BUD! we have not met for 2 months. ARGH! tml we'll go eat and then SHOPPING! i think i've spent too much lately. alamak. but bo bian la. new year ma. some more i seldom shop. wahahaha. can la! den after that maybe go drink with rong. he very sad. tsk tsk.

yesterday. i was watching my CME project video done by my group. i watched Khairul's group's project too. DAMN SAD MAN! I MISS MY CLASSES! x( hais. sadded. i love them all. XD hahahaha. EEEEEEEEK!

new year clothes

2006-01-13T23:57:00.001+08:00

today i went out with ah fei, rong and weiting after working. den we went bugis. ah fei and rong keep kena beat by me. hahahahaha. we actually went to accompany weiting to buy her new year clothes ma. who knows she onli need one more clothing. den end up is they accompany me buy. hahahahaha. i very guilty ah. keep let them wait for me. but they say they dun mind. cos that's what friends are for. so touched lehs! hahahaha. i bought 6 pieces of clothings le. but i still wanna buy more! wahahaha. i think cos grow up le den taste cahnge already bahs and that's wye.

i miss my darling alot lehs. i very long time no meet her le. DARLING HORS?! haa. kind of scare lose contact with her. cos she is sensitive to nothing and willingly goes crazy with me everytime. i just love her. haa. (((((((((((((((((x

sluts.

2006-01-12T19:50:00.000+08:00

i can't help being a bitch to you. i just love it. go ahead and bitch about me. (((: slut.

2006-01-09T23:37:00.000+08:00

What the fuck is this? I found this bill this morning when i went to father's office to work. The fuck is that, it's my phone bill for December and my dearest father still dunno about it! -SCREAMS- i think he'll go berserk. my god. this is shyt. really shytty. i will confess to him later in the night. and i think. 10/1/06 shall be my dooms day. -SCREAMS- i'm not afraid that he will go crazy and kill me. what scares me is his disappointed and upset look he will give if he ever saw the bill. i went to the office today and i was asked to check those bills and blahs. i was going through them and i spotted my name there. so i take a look. i realise that my father have been spending alot alot alot alot of money on my phone bills and yet he didnt say anything at all. but this time. it's just plain TOO MUCH. i realised i've been making him disappointed lehs. mother always tell me father had high hopes on me. hais. i dunno lehs. after i saw all my damn bills. i felt so regretful and guilty. i'm disappointing him again. it hurts to see parents being upset about you. i dunno ah. i'm going to deal with it. i'm going to sms him when he's asleep. hahahaha. cos i dun wan to see him upset! i've let both my parents down. and i'm really feeling remorseful and apologetic. i know i can't go on like this. i won't guarantee excellent results to show them. but i won't make them disappointd again and will be a daughter that they will feel proud of. I MEAN IT LA! fuck.

PARTY!

2006-01-01T20:59:00.000+08:00

IT'S NEW YEAR! everything's not going to be the same again. (: i went countdown-in with my friends last night. in the end we didnt countdown but sit outside breadtalk and eat cake instead! we spent dunno how many hours travelling from place to place. cos all those places were VERY CROWDED! especially ESPLANADE! i couldn't move much there. some more i cant even see what's happening cos of my stupid height! i hate myself for being so short! i can only see pple's back or their butts. darn it. first thing i saw in new year are BUTTS! i went to town. then city hall. den esplanade. and finally clark quay where angela and the rest were. but i was waiting for a friend with my other friends. so i didn't go off to town with them. SO SORRY! so i danced in a pub nors. for the first time i went into one and danced on the dance floor like mad. haa. i anyhow dance. i also dunno how i dance. i think i looked farnie. hahahaha. but i really enjoyed myself. I LOVE CLARK QUAY! Soon Yuan is going back to Australia on the 5th. SADDED! dunno when can see him again. he used to be so childish when we were in primary school we always fight and argued. now he has grown so TALL and mature. some more very gentleman. no wonder hui qin can't help herself but to fell for him. haa. joseph also changed alot. i mean appearance wise. i think he's still as quiet bahs. but he very crappy. he does toopid stuffs and make me laugh like hell! hahahaha. he also very gentleman la. hahahaha. i just love him! XD i love all my friends. i love them i love them i love them! ((((:

2005-12-30T19:25:00.000+08:00

i was having my holidays overseas the past few weeks that's wye i didnt update my blog. during the three weeks. many many things happened and many many things changed. some things ended. some things started. and i dun wish to be reminded of it again. over the past 3 weeks. i find that being a good girl does not bring anything good. since it's over. since i'm going to start my life afresh. i'm gonna be bad. real bad. BLOW!

lalalala

2005-11-30T02:20:00.000+08:00

today i went to orchard. and i bought my prom dress. hahahahaha. i actually want to wear those smart casual type. but i think almost all girls wore dress. i den dun wan to be the odd one. ): hahahaha. so. shruggs. hahahaha. it's so farnie to see my male classmates fan about how to approach the girls to ask them to be their dates at the prom night. hahahahaha. especially that sheep. hahahaha.

we quarreled and the next minute loving again. quarreled and then lovin. quarreled and then loving. i think we will go on like this. and this shows that. we can never walk out on each other successfully cos we always turn back the minute we face away from each other. (: and i love you. ((:

exams over!

2005-11-22T23:55:00.000+08:00

yay! exams are finally over! teehee. i've been working 'kinda' hard for the big 0s. it's true la. i think. hahaha. anyway. it's really over! yay.

sorry la angela. next time i play with you la okay? hahaha. cos last minute den i can't make it. (:

before the 0s and during the 0s ah. i made four new friends in school mac while studyin. yansheng. junxian. keat siong. swee phoon. hahaha. and then we always go play basketball after studying. if not for jian, swee siang and kuan zhen ah. i wouldn't have known them. but i'm drifting apart from all of them ah. cos after 0s liao den dunnit study le ah den no more meet up. ))):

friends and love are not forever i blieve. for the word 'forever' doesnt even exist in reality.

princess updating!

2005-10-16T19:42:00.000+08:00

i'm blogging! cos i managed to steal the keyboard back from my mother. wahaha. it's been such a long time since i last blog and it just feel strange. cos i dunno what to blog about. okay. about the graduation ceremony. i expect myself to cry. but i didn't obviously. it's just not that sad or touching at all. just a bit. tiny weeny bit.

yay! i failed 5 subjects last time and now only 2! ya. those two are maths! i hate maths! i hate maths! hate hate hate! but i will try to get a pass. i don't want to let victoria circle down. he has been tolerating my nonsense and my single digit marks. he's very stressed with our class. for the sake of him. let's just do it!

chem practical is coming. let's just hope i'll pass. hoping hoping hoping hoping ...

i can't imagine what kind of life i'll be living after i leave this school. i think when it's really time for us to leave. i will cry really hard. i can't bear to separate from you people : the teachers. the friends i made from chinese orchestra and dance. my 4/6 and my former 2/5 (2003). :( wye can't we just go to the same school altogether?! i hate separation. grrr..

angela! i've updated! for the sake of you!~ ehs. i've got lots of things to talk to you about. :( wait for my call!

updating!!

2005-08-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

i'm not at all free to update my blog! so wye am i updating it anyway? it's cos. liang hooi won as the teacher beau! wee! yay yay! joseph came up 2nd. which is quite a pity. lots of pple thinks that the 3/10 boy shouldn't have won the as the male student beau for the fact that he's not at all good-looking nor does he possess any qualities. well. who knows. anyway. also to our greatest joy. yiwen won as the school belle! congrats! wee-u-weet! it's expected anyway. yay! i still cant get over the thoughts that tan liang hooi won! he had a great voice! much better than tan wee liat and that's for sure. wakakaka. alrighty. i'm busy! have to go now. and before you finish reading this. let us just cheer for him! ah hooi~~~ ah hooi! ah hooi~~~~ ah hooi!. okay okay! dont curse me anymore!

princess.

2005-08-06T16:05:00.000+08:00

i cant go online that often anymore. not until my 0 level is over. sadded. so i may not blog that often. my results. see le will become blind. haa. i want to work hard. but somehow. i don't have the mood to. hmms. the reason that made me happy all day long is that i've got you.

The guy who loves you, if he can't always see you, he will try to make himself busy, for not to have any time to remember you, because he knew, if he didn't, he will keep on missing you until he could do nothing.
The guy, who loves you, can't tell you the reason why he loves you. He only knew that, in his eyes, you are the only one.
The guy who loves you, seldom praise you , but in his heart, you are the best, only he know it.
The guy who loves you, will scold or complaint if you didnt reply his message but others, because he cares.
The guy who love you , only drop his tears infront of you. When you try to wipe his tears, you are touching his heart , the heart which beats for you.
The guy who loves you, will remember every word u said, even its accidentally. And he will use the word always at the nick of time.
The guy who loves you, will not give any promise that easily, because they don't want to break the promise, as they want you to believe him and they want to give you the happiest and safest life ever after.
The guy who loves you, always tell you not to think too much, because they already plan it for you. He want to give u the best life in the future, he want to give you a surprise. Believe him that he can do it.
The guy who loves you, will go to the airport to fetch you. He won't carry a bunch a rose and call you darling like what you expect. But he will carry your luggage and ask you, "why are you becoming that thin within two days?" with his sincere heart.
The boy who loves you, will listen quietly to you, when you are mad. When you've finished, he will say, "you still got class tomorrow, sleep earlier," with a smile.
The boy who loves you, don't know that whether he should call you when you are angry, but he will send a message to you after few hours. If you ask him why he call that late, he will say, "when you are angry, my explanations are all rubbish. But when you calm down, only then you will listen to me.
The boy who loves you, always call you little girl, but each time he wants to make a big decision, he will first want to hear your advice.
The guy who loves you, don't like little toys like teddy bears, but he will always put the bear you gave him at his bedside.
The guy who loves you, while quarrelling, will apologize uncontrollably, although you are the one who's in the wrong. And later, he will sent a message to you with " baby, actually you know its your fault, you know it yourself. "
The guy who loves you, while really missing you, he will want to buy a bunch of rose and wait you stupidly under your apartment. But he never knows, what he bought is daisy. That doesn't matter, because in his heart, those are roses.

princess wanna.....

2005-07-31T03:40:00.001+08:00

i want two more pairs of ear holes! >_<; i want i want! actually i wanted to have it some time ago. but scarded !!!!! i scare i might cry if the person poke the holes on my ears. and the other reason wye i want to poke ear holes is cos ben dan says that he likes it. but still scarded!!

today i went to the movies with him. we went to watch a movie called wet dreams 2 at 11.30pm. that show not bad la. but i enjoy his accompany more. haa. i am really really happy with him. but the picture was far too perfect. and it made me scare. what if one day i wake up and to find that this was just a dream? i don't think i can take it. all i ask for is to hold his hand and accompany him throughout his journey of life. i want to be there when he needs someone. i want to stay by him to tell him that he's not alone. i want to shout to the world that HE'S MINE!

i think he is spending too much time on me and i guess he's very tired. i think i better not disturb him anymore. whenever we were talking through the phone in the night. he was the one who feels tired first. seriously speaking. i don't recall a single thing i've done for him. he asked me to remind him some things but in the end he was the one who reminds himself. he's the one who is always taking care of me. he's the one who is always giving and i'm the one who is always receiving in this relationship. he never restrict me. he wouldn't mind me screaming and laughing my heads off in public. he wouldn't mind me giving him all sorts of trouble. and he wouldn't mind doing anything just to make me happy. what more can i ask for?

ben dan. you brought me joy and happiness. you comforts my heart when it was crying. you never tried breaking it. you took care of it so gently as if it was your own. i've given whole of my heart to you. i don't have to tell you what to do with it. cos i believe you won't break it. but will provide it with warmth and love. i'm sorry i am not able to do anything. i'm sorry i always make you worry. i'm sorry i always have to trouble you. i'm sorry i always bothers you when you are feeling tired. i'm sorry for not being able to make you as happy as how you make me. but i promise. i will love you til the end of time. i will bring you joy and laughter every single day. i will prove to you that you can rely on me when you are feeling tired. you cant be the one who is always holding on. i'll be more than happy if you tell me you want a rest and ask me to hold on for you. believe me. just like how i believe you.

princess happiness

2005-07-27T23:31:00.000+08:00

now that i've got you. i've nothin much to ask for. you are a god's gift to me. i never felt this happy before. you made me laugh. made me smile even when we're not talking. i am really really happy and fortunate to have you. how i wish i can show you to the whole world. but i can't. not now. if i am allowed to have 3 wishes. i would want to love you. i would want to hold your hand. i would want us to be forever. i love you.

princess skipped school.

2005-07-25T23:40:00.000+08:00

hais. on thursday. someone told me this. 'your existence did nothing but cause trouble for our family'. am i really that damned? i appeared unconcerned. but these words hurt me. if i were to say that i have no slightest bit of anger. it's a lie. felt like slapping that person and kill her. but i can't. cos she's my family. i wasn't feeling well. so i skipped school the following day.

i skipped TLH's lesson lehs. sadded. but i headache. hees.

last sat. all of us went for NDP to support CCKSS de juniors. i cant believe that the people performing are actually my juniors. really! it's so beautiful! >.<; and then after the preview. i went to esplanade with angela. xuelin. yisheng. alvin teo. kang wei. lun yi. and xueming. i was starvin to death and xuelin was still busy shopping! i'm hopping mad. hahaha. and then finally i got to eat! yay! yay! all thanks to kang wei. haa. wee~! after dinner. we wanted to went home. and then after that suppose to meet ben dan. den ah. quarrel with him over the phone. and he left me waiting for him 2 hours alone at DXO. i was crying and crying when i suddenly heard someone called my name. the person that called my name sent me home and made me smile stupidly to myself for the rest of the night. haa.

today. TLH never come to school lehs. sadded. i keep look at corridor. hoping to catch sight of him. but he never appeared. hais. maybe he's sick. hope he's getting better and i want to see him tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!

omg. cant help it.

2005-07-18T22:21:00.000+08:00

i couldn't stop trembling.. i want an mc tomorrow...

lalalalalala

2005-07-17T22:48:00.000+08:00

dunno wat to say bout today. hahahaha. jus 5 letters. H-A-P-P-Y! hahaha. i enjoyed being with you. you brought me joy much more than anyone else could. but sometimes i wonder. what do i see in you. cos you're so toopid! hahahaha. but i still love you. teehee.

...

2005-07-17T00:30:00.000+08:00

sometimes. i find it hard to be frank with you. but if i lie. i will feel guilty and you wont be happy either. you asked me if we will last. how am i suppose to ans that? what if i said yes but in the end we didnt? and what if you leave me when i ans no but the fact is that we will? if i didn't answer you. you will doubt me. whatever i told you is the truth! if we were to go separate ways one day. the reason lies with me. and if we last til the end. it's cos of you. given my personality. i enjoy freedom and hates to be tied down. so definitely there's possibility that i might grow tired of what's between us. at least i'm telling the truth. if i ask you. will you grow tired of me someday. will you be able to answer me with 100% confidence that you won't? you didnt think of that cos you're not the one being asked. i didnt have to ask you anyway. cos the one who will mark the end of this relationship with sadness is still me. but if you really want us to last. you will try making me fall in love with you every single day. last night we quarrelled. you said you won't let me drop a single tear. you even said that was a promise. but are you able to do it? NO! and now. again. you didnt keep your promise. up til now. what promises have you kept? i don't see any. and yet in the end i'm still the one at fault. i don't understand it. now i see wye there's a possibility that i'll grow tired of you. it's cos you're always doing this to me. no matter how much you claimed that you love me. you will still put me in a position whereby i can't decide. and regardless what is my answer. it'll always hurt you. before you say that i hurt you. ask yourself. did you hurt me? at least i don't feel so much sadness when i was secretly in love with you. i hate promises. i hate it in the past. i hate it now. and will remain so in the future. i guess. in the end. i'm still the one at fault. i'm sorry.

yay yay yay

2005-07-12T22:12:00.000+08:00

i'm so happy. happy happy happy. i'm so so happy. happy happy happy~ hahahahahaha. today. horoscope said that my love luck will have 5 stars out of 5! first time ever! haa. indeed. i'm really happy today! i felt so loved. hahaha. hen ai hen ai ben dan!

today i saw tan liang hooi lehs. he so kuku one! my eyes pain den rest and he thought that i'm sleepin! am i that pig?! i know i am. but he thinks so too! T_T after remedials. i saw him sending all those students home. SO XIAN MU!!!!!!!! i want! i want! i want!

as usual. angela drew on my paper again. a smiley face. forever liddat de. hahaha. but i also got drew her paper back. and she became so crazy that she drew on my hand! angela so gl. hahaha. hannah. i got drew her back la. hahaha. i drew one BIG BIG BIG smiley on her leg. and people kept laughin at her when they saw it. hahahaha. HAPPY! we were doing maths. suddenly we had this idea. which is to draw on kang wei's hand. hahaha. his hand was filled with our faces all over. hahaha.

i'm so happy today! actually ah. i wanted to take a pen and then draw on my ben dan. i wan to draw on his left hand's 4th finger. draw a BIG BIG ring. to show people that HE'S MINE!! ya. i am selfish. cos HE'S MINE!

worried sick

2005-07-11T22:02:00.000+08:00

i'm worried i'm worried i'm worried i'm worried i'm worried to death! if you aren't feeling well. rest at home then. dun scare me with questions like that. the promise you made to me. really made me wanna cry. i don't need any promises. i just hope that you'll be alright. if you can't hold on any longer. take a break. you still have me. i'll by your side when you need someone. i'll carry on for you when you need a rest. i'll be your strength when you have none left. take good care of yourself. i'm missing you..

hate.

2005-07-11T18:26:00.000+08:00

i hate you la i hate you la i hate you la. you go stick to her la. stick la. stiiiiiiiiiiick all you wan. humphs. dan wo hai shi xi huan ni. xi huan dao bu xing! >_<;